Relationships

Dear Amy’s Future Husband

With all this talk of dating sites, my good friend Yasmeen thought it was high time to give my future hubby a few pointers. With the inspiration from the song “Dear Future Husband,” we both wrote our sides to it. Here’s Yasmeen’s thoughts, next week you’ll see mine.

Dear Amy’s Future Husband,

I thought you should have a list of Amy’s likes and dislikes. I realize that you being the love of her life and all, you probably already know her general likes and dislikes, but I thought I’d list them anyway. So here’s what I came up with! (Also feel free to make additions/amendments as you see fit because let’s face it, you’re probably the most important person in her life. *Wink*)

Dislikes:

(In no particular order)

 

# 1) Being wet

# 2) Being wet

(Yes, I repeated #1 twice)

# 3) Gum

# 4) Dipping sauce

# 5) Salad dressing

# 6) TV/Movie/Book spoilers

# 7) People who make spoilers an actual issue in life

Likes:

(In no particular order)

 

 

# 1) Best friend romance

# 2) Instant Mac N Cheese

# 3) Raw cookie dough

# 4) Anything with the words “mac” and “cheese” put together in a sentence

# 5) Books

# 7) Glee!

# 8) Syler

# 9) Sawyer

# 10) Good “bad boys” (hence the Syler & Sawyer reference)

(Note: If you watch(ed) Lost or Heroes, you’ll get these references)

# 11) Writing

# 12) Praising her “stalking” capabilities because they are legit and ninja-like!

(Note: If you’re reading this, chances are that you’re already her guy, but in the slight chance you’re not, run because she’ll somehow figure out you’ve read it… She makes #12 happen.)

 

I already know what you’re thinking, and yes, she’s THAT good.

Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

What are you doing? Are you mad?! I said run!

But then again you probably are her guy, and in that case (rest assured) she’s already stalked you a ton.

# 13) And most importantly, she’s a gem, so don’t ever let her go. It wouldn’t hurt to make her aware of her

awesomeness (ßyes, I just made that a word) every now and again… us girls really like that sort of stuff. 😉

Sincerely,

The annoying friend who will probably always be around to crash on you guys’ couch (kidding… but not really)

-Yasmeen H.

Relationships

12 Thoughts from 12 Hours of Tinder

Hannah Brencher made me do it!
Okay so she clarified she didn’t mean it had to be Tinder or dating for that matter, but one of her writing tips is technically called “Go on Tinder Dates.” Really she meant get out of your comfort zone. But hey, writing tip is writing tip and so to Tinder I went.
From a complete newbie at this electronic dating search dealio, here’s 12 thoughts I had from the 12 hours I had a Tinder profile.

(Note: for any fellow newbies to Tinder, quickly here’s how it works. It’s the most popular dating app. You’re shown a picture of someone and a quick blurb. You swipe left if you aren’t interested in getting to know them, swipe right if you are. If both people swipe right that they’re interested, it says “You have a match!” and a messaging option unlocks.)

    1. Where’s the “Christian Only” option on this thing? (Side note: there are no legitimately okay free dating apps/sites specifically for Christians. We suck.)

 

    1. Why can’t I put “maybe” on this guy and it bring him back later?

 

    1. Why in the world do most guys’ pictures feature one or more girls on their arm?! How can this be considered remotely a good idea for a dating site profile?

 

    1. Do you like a guy if he says he’s into farm stuff and you’re not? What about if he’s into outdoors and sports and you’re not? Is that acceptable or leading him on?

 

    1. Why do you all say “I enjoy the simple things in life.” WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?????

 

    1. If I see my friend’s brother on here, is it cool to say, “Hey, you’re brother is on Tinder!” or is that like a secret society unspoken rule thing about, well, who happens on Tinder stays on Tinder?

 

    1. If I see someone I know, do I need to apologize in person? Like “Hey, saw you on Tinder, swiped left cause I just think it’s awkward to do online dating stuff with people I know….”

 

    1. Oh no, I’m gonna be swarmed by creepy stranger guys saying, “Hey, you’re that Tinder girl! I swiped right on you but you never swiped right back!” Please don’t hate me, world! (no worries, I am in fact forgettable so far haha.)

 

    1. Oh you seem cool! No, like too cool, I can’t swipe right to you, I’d never be normal in your presence.

 

    1. So if I’m hypothetically talking to multiple people and hypothetically go on a date with multiple people, when does it qualify as cheating to be talking/dating multiple people? I’m really bad at this dating thing….

 

    1. Wait, but if I swipe right, that means we might have to talk, and once we start talking, we might have to go out, and if we have to go out that means I have to actually leave my apartment some evening. I don’t want to leave my apartment!

 

    1. Most people don’t even get a match for multiple days, just swipe right, just once and you’ll figure that out when it comes. You probably won’t even have a profile at that point. *swipes right* “YOU HAVE A MATCH!” Seriously?! Right now? First swipe? Am I *that* desirable, world?!

 

 

 

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Relationships

More Than Sticks & Stones

“In real discipleship, we memorize Scripture.”

The words swallowed the conversation. Biting words, fighting words.

Wanna know a secret? I was not the victim of this attack. I was the perpetrator. My best friend was the victim. I didn’t mean to hurt. I was still learning about process and about grace, but mostly I was still learning that I was so so wrong about goodness.

I hate who I was then. And am still learning to look at that girl with compassion. I think I hated her then too. Somehow subconsciously I thought true character was brought through shame. True character was shaming others into shaming others into shaming others until we all knew who was right and who was wrong. Finding some measurable outward standard where I “beat” others made it all okay.

Until it didn’t. Because life wasn’t okay like that, and only lots of mercy and grace could draw me back.

There isn’t some grand ending for this post, this is just to say that my last post wasn’t coming from a place of being better than the words others say. You can google cheesy inspirational quotes and stories of how encouragement changed someone’s life around. Those stories are everywhere. But I’m choosing to admit today that sometimes it’s not that beautiful, it’s not that pristine – sometimes words cut so deep as to change a person’s being. I’ve been dealt such words, and I’m sure I’ve given plenty too. That’s what sparked the idea for last week’s post. Because it’s not all just roses and hallmark cards – sometimes it’s sticks and stones.

 

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Relationships

Narcissist Confessions, in 4 Parts

 

Part 1: The Wrong Kind of Love

Part of the truth is I love too wholly, too quickly. But not the right love; the wrong love. The love that swallows you whole, suffocates you ’til all that’s left is a bigger version of me. I want to see you, because you see the me I want to see.

And as soon as I get that close, I run. ‘Cause big me is addicting, but I will burst into little me any second and I just can’t stand to see that. And it’s best to just move on to the next person that can make me big. Perpetuate this endless cycle.

I squeeze too tight and run too much, both in embarrassingly high amounts, because I don’t know how to just be with you.

Part 2: The Tight, Uncomfortable Squeeze for Both of Us

But I’m learning. I’m changing, or at least I tell myself that, if its not just to make me bigger. If you’re willing, here, crawl in next to me. I’m trying to make some room, but please, forgive me if I fill too much.
Do you know what it’s like? I let my feelings own me. Not control me, there’s a balance of saying “not this far.” But I let them take over, I #feelthefeels. Small things will overwhelm my countenance. I suppose I’m dramatic….even this post is painting a potent filtered condensed version of who I am. I’m an explosion, if only on the inside.

There’s too much human-being-ness oozing out of me.

Part 3: The Tightrope

Sometimes I don’t get the nonartistic temperament. It’s so tempered and stable and makes me feel too volatile and too full and too too. But I need balance. And maybe you need over-the-top. And maybe it’s all just right as we are.

I think we forget that God isn’t always a whisper; He’s also a whirlwind. And people aren’t whirlwinds or whispers; they’re just people. So we can be whirlwind and then whisper and then explosion and so full and so tiny all at once. And I think I can see that in you. If I try. If you let me try.

Part 4: The Haunting

The question that plagues me: “Will you follow through if I fall for you?

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for the Creatives, Relationships

Who’s Your Sidekicks?

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Bryan Harris just sent out an email with this (his former) “Crappy Business Model.” This is why I have a Business Manager (Yaz) and a Research Assistant (Court.) And that’s just the people that have helped me enough that they demanded a title. All before I even have an official business, because we need people every step of the way toward our dreams.

I have a degree in English Literature and still somehow Courtney finds more effective ways to word my letters asking people for an interview. I kid you not when I say that somehow a circus just called my day-job (Red Cross – no circus relation) offering free tickets to employees. “Umm yes, you just made my dream come true! now let me try and act like a professional instead of a child while I accept this offer….” Research Assistant also will be accompanying me with clever interview questions and an obsession with the animals (Biology Degree.)

Just yesterday while talking with Yaz about personal brand (ahh! The scary b-word!) and my self-proclaimed genius facebook posts, she asked if my settings allow for followers. Ummmm…. (See why I “hired” her?) How had I forgotten about that. Well that’s all fixed now. All you people who are strangers and worried I’d reject a Friend Request, never fear! Just Follow me! And all my Facebook Friends who have friends that see my status you so eloquently replied to, and they think, “Hey! I like that. I want her stuff on my newsfeed forever.” Guess what? I have a solution that doesn’t involve you commenting on my every status (though I’m game for that too.) Tell them to follow me! ‘Cause now they can!

https://www.facebook.com/amylsauder?_rdr

And thank you Court and Yaz, and all you others who keep me going – you’re awesome!

So I’m curious….what’s your plan? Who’s your sidekicks? Who’s feeding into you with ideas and help toward reaching your goals and achieving your dreams, whether professional or personal? Let’s do this together 🙂