Relationships

More Than Sticks & Stones

“In real discipleship, we memorize Scripture.”

The words swallowed the conversation. Biting words, fighting words.

Wanna know a secret? I was not the victim of this attack. I was the perpetrator. My best friend was the victim. I didn’t mean to hurt. I was still learning about process and about grace, but mostly I was still learning that I was so so wrong about goodness.

I hate who I was then. And am still learning to look at that girl with compassion. I think I hated her then too. Somehow subconsciously I thought true character was brought through shame. True character was shaming others into shaming others into shaming others until we all knew who was right and who was wrong. Finding some measurable outward standard where I “beat” others made it all okay.

Until it didn’t. Because life wasn’t okay like that, and only lots of mercy and grace could draw me back.

There isn’t some grand ending for this post, this is just to say that my last post wasn’t coming from a place of being better than the words others say. You can google cheesy inspirational quotes and stories of how encouragement changed someone’s life around. Those stories are everywhere. But I’m choosing to admit today that sometimes it’s not that beautiful, it’s not that pristine – sometimes words cut so deep as to change a person’s being. I’ve been dealt such words, and I’m sure I’ve given plenty too. That’s what sparked the idea for last week’s post. Because it’s not all just roses and hallmark cards – sometimes it’s sticks and stones.

 

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Mental Health, My Creative Projects, Showcasing other Creatives

What Doesn’t Kill You, Makes You

The past few weeks, my friend Maggie and I have collected responses through social media of what hurtful words made you who you are today. We loved the feedback, and hope to get even more on our next collaborative project. See all of the responses here, and check out Maggie’s blog for some DNA word art she created from this project. Like my Facebook page or Follow me on Twitter to get in on submissions next time around 🙂

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“You’ll never amount to anything.”

“I’ll never be against you.”

“There’s no cure.”

“Live on your own to make sure you can do it. Just in case.”

“You won’t regret it, I promise.”

“I doubt anything will change my mind at this point. Only someone better before you.”

“We have nothing.”

Someone told me once to stop just thinking of myself and think about others and how they feel for a change. It hurt but made me realize that I need to spend more time doing things that will help and serve other people.

“I’m done trying to convince you that I care.”

“You gotta try more from the salad bar. Get more experience. How do you know what you like until you try it?”

PUSH Pray Until Something Happens

“You are worth waiting forever for. I’m saying I won’t wait forever.”

“Get your foot in the door.”

“Your intent wasn’t to build up, it was to cut down.”

“I don’t do what you’re doing, because it’s of the devil.”

“You need to not be so sensitive.”

“There’s no thing that can be taken as a reason why we’d be together.”

“Be an active listener. It matters when you make eye contact and pay attention.”

“You’re always crying – do you need to see a doctor?”

 

 

 

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for the Creatives, for the Writers

The Author’s Role for Change

I only just finished a series of articles on fiction and had planned on not posting an article-style blogpost for awhile. Switch things up a bit, right?

Then this happened, and I thought, may as well while it’s fresh in my mind.

I have a day-job. In fact, in case you hadn’t noticed, so far I am unpublished and my only income is my day-job. For this job, I will be attending a wonderful seminar on The Hidden Rules of Class, dealing with the stigmas of poverty and the different values of the lower, middle, and upper class.  I was so fascinated by the little teaser I’d received, that I will be presenting the information to my writers group after the seminar.

Writers will be writing about people very different from them, including differing in income. My current Work-In-Progress has an upper-class girl who runs away and joins the circus – very suddenly with hardly any income to speak of. To portray this drastic change well, I have to understand both upper class and lower class values. The other writers in my group have people of differing income levels as well that should be portrayed accurately.

The facilitator of this seminar was talking with me about how attendees need to be both those working hands-on with people in poverty, as well as higher-ups who have the power to make changes. And I thought of an additional need. Sure, it doesn’t make a direct impact, and it doesn’t make sense in the short-term. But what about creatives? Creatives need to know the hidden rules of class, too.

If writers portray class, or any situation, with a stigma, that affects the perspective of others, countless others who read. The more every writer, artist, musician, and creative understands the world around them accurately, the more affected the world is in subconsciously or consciously believing the same way.

This one seminar can reach 100 people with the Hidden Rules of Class. If someone in leadership of an organization or city attends, the whole reach has the opportunity to be impacted. And if one author attends and writes a book that does even somewhat well, the reach can be far more significant. Creatives need to learn this too.

Don’t underestimate the power of one creative.