for the Creatives

Not everyone has the time all the time

Saying “I don’t have the time” is most of the time and for most people an excuse, not an actuality. It’s simply a matter of reprioritizing.

But, that is not true for everyone. That is not true all of the time.

You have to be honest with yourself for yourself: Is saying “I don’t have the time” right now an excuse or a legitimate reason? I have to ask myself this question semi-regularly. Only you can decide.

But I’m learning one thing: Time to create is a privilege. When I have it, I try to honor it. I try to proceed with grace and gratitude for the moments and space that I have. I don’t always succeed.

And there are legitimate times where we don’t have the time and the space to create. I try to honor that too. To not guilt-trip or push. I don’t always succeed.

I try to be honest with where I’m at each moment. I don’t always succeed. It’s a process. It’s this attempt at that elusive thing called “balance”. And it’s okay to not get it right all the time. At least, so I remind myself. And today is a day that I wanted to remind myself, and I thought maybe I’d remind you too while I’m at it.

for the Creatives

Marie Kondoing your time

First question: Which of the things you spend your time on spark joy? That’s the easy part. This is where all my creative aspirations go.

But there’s a next part. Because I knowwww that you spend time doing the dishes and it *never* sparks joy.

When Marie Kondo went into the kitchen or the bathroom closet, she often switched her question. My whisk or my washcloths don’t exactly spark joy, but I’m certainly not throwing them away; they’re kinda necessary. “Do you see yourself taking this into your future?” or “Do you see this as part of your ideal lifestyle?” That was the type of question she would ask (I don’t remember her exact wording, forgive me for botching). Then maybe the washcloth doesn’t spark joy, but I appreciate its place in my apartment because I see how it contributes to the life I want to lead.

From my (admittedly limited) understanding, the KonMari method is more than just about objects that spark joy, but about building a life that sparks joy. It’s not about minimalism or cleaning or decluttering, though those all can be part of the process. It’s about appreciating and loving what we have and the things we surround ourselves with.

So, second question to KonMari your time: Which of the things you spend time on do you see taking you into your future? And, related but different, which of the things you spend time on do you see as part of your ideal lifestyle?

Often the second question encompasses items you have to do but don’t want to, which brings a whole new level of appreciation and gratitude. (Me right now: “Hmm, yeah, I guess my ideal future does not involve a pigsty of dirty dish piles, so until I hire a housekeeper, I’m washing dishes!”)

Third question: What other things do you spend your time on that the above questions don’t cover? Hint: Ditch those things and fill that time with joy sparking! Oh wait…KonMari method…. Thank those things for what they brought to your life, thennnnnn trash them.

(Sidenote: There may be items on the third list you legitimately can’t ditch. I get it. No harm, no foul. I am moreso meaning the things that you can.)

Big old caveat here: I am not a consultant or an expert. I’m just someone who watched the Netflix show. For expert advice, that’d be Marie Kondo.

for the Creatives

How to do ALL THE THINGS as a multi-creative

I write stories and blogposts, and I teach, and I have dayjob and family and friends and I should probably try to live healthy like go to the gym and prep veggies, oh and Marie Kondoing my life is pretty important right now, plus I travel a lot to see my Wisconsin Guy (I mean, my only guy, but he’s also my Wisconsin Guy), plus there’s church and there’s serving my community, and let’s not forget Netflix. Phew, I’m wiped! Oh, and I need sleep! Yes, sleep. ZZZzzzZZZzzzZZZzzzz.

In maintaining my writerly entrepreneurial life, I have book writing, blogging, social media updates, email newsletter, patron updates, book signings and events, writers groups, teaching classes, #DelilahTales updates about my mannequin’s life because why not, artistic fashion resale, directing the literary arts section of a Christian creative arts conference, and of course a dayjob to make this all possible.

And, in case ya didn’t notice from above, I’m not even the most multi-creative human out there. Some of y’all out there write and dance and paint and act and and all the things. Some of y’all have kids. Some of y’all have 3 jobs. Let’s be real: Some of y’all are busier than me.

But in juggling all the things, I’ve learned a few tips I thought I’d pass along. If you feel like you’re bombing your resolutions, it’s okay. Let’s reset. Let’s take another month to figure it out, and I won’t tell anybody. 

In a previous post I gave a micro-step about picking which ball you’ll keep in the air, but there’s a whole process to go deeper into re-evaluating each piece of your life and getting a few steps closer to doing the things that you’re actually wanting to do with the time you have.

Here’s my step by step process to prioritizing. I did it back when I got serious about my writing, and routinely I’ve re-evaluated and adjusted from there. It might help you.

When I began to make a regular writing routine, but didn’t have time for it, I did the following:

  1. Made a list of priorities, which included all the things I want to be the focus of my life for the time. This can include activities and abstract concepts: community, faith, writing, blogging, etc.
  2. Made a separate list of obligations, the things I don’t want to be the focus of my life but I have to give some time to. This also includes activities and abstract concepts: health (nutrition and gym), rest days, dayjob, sleep, etc.
  3. Goal of the above: diminish as much time as possible for obligations – for instance from my life, don’t work overtime if possible, don’t set some ridiculous gym goal, choose quicker healthy foods rather than hours of meal prep, have one rest day a week but not lounging for weeks on end, etc.  – and add the priorities to calendar wherever possible, organize life around those things.
  4. Made a separate list that detailed every single thing I spend my time doing currently. Included sleep, gym, meal prep, movie watching, reading, writers group, church small group, church services, work, writing, watching tv shows with a couple friends, babysitting, etc.
  5. Removed everything from my calendar that was part of that last list but not on the other lists. I noticed one small group I attended was not a community to me, but the other was, so I dropped the one that did not factor into my priority of “community”. I stopped babysitting. Cut the TV show watching with friends mostly, and prioritized writerly relationship meetings that help achieve my writing priority.
  6. Anything that came up to add to my calendar, I weighed on this scale: Is this in line with my priorities? Yes, then add it. Is this more under obligation? Okay, I’ll add it if I need to allot time to this still. Is this neither? Nope, can’t do it, I’m busy.

Notes:

  • This will fluctuate with time. Going through this process isn’t thinking “For the rest of my life, where does this fall?” It’s “Right now, where does this fall? For this season, what do I want my life to look like?” Maybe decluttering is priority because Marie Kondo and spring cleaning vibes. But then, you declutter, congratulations by the way, and suddenly you want music and sleep to be your top priority instead. This isn’t set in stone for all time. So ask yourself, for the next year or 6 months or 3 months, what you want it to look like.
  • The “obligation” category isn’t a bad section. You can even enjoy obligations very much (three cheers for sleep!). Obligations are still very much important and given regular time, just not extra. It’s important I go to the gym, spend time with family, sleep, attend my church, serve my community, work, write…but it’s all a question of which things I will allot time and not give extra time to (obligation), and which ones I need to fill my calendar as full as I can with because they’re my focus (priority).
  • For you: Which creative pursuits are an obligation? Which creative pursuits are a priority? Either way is fine. What about family? friends? health? cleaning your house? netflix? reading? gaming? travel? What about all your other activities? It’s all up to you. There’s no wrong list, it’s just personal to your life goals, aspirations, desires, etc.

Final step, I promise:

With the list of priorities and what gets what time, you want those priorities in order. What’s your top priority if you had to lose everything but one? What’s your second priority? And so on down the list. Once you do that, fit them each into your calendar on a regular basis in accordance with your prioritization, but you always know what drops first if you can’t hit it and you always know what gets any extra time you carve out.

So is your top priority theater? Novel? Blogging? Give your top priority the most of your focus/time/energy. Give a little time to the others. Maybe some will be every day, some every week, and some only every month. Who knows. But don’t focus so much on juggling all your lower priorities that you don’t give the time to your top priority.

It’s okay to want a lot of things, and you’ll figure out what works for you balance-wise with time.

You don’t have to do ALL THE THINGS. At least not all at once. Choose a couple for now. Add some in when you have room, take some off when you don’t. Most importantly, cut down as much “obligation” time as you can and throw it all at your “priorities” list. Something beautiful will come of it.

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for the Creatives, My Creative Projects

The Award for Saying “No”

I recently attended an awards ceremony with some coworkers. As the host rattled off all the achievements of the award recipients – career, parenting, volunteering, church involvement, chair and member of various boards, alongside various other activities and accomplishments – wow! I realized:

“I will NEVER receive an award like this.”

Maybe you think I’m just not ambitious enough, but no really, I won’t receive that award. It’s not that I can’t, per se. But all of the commitments, throwing oneself wholeheartedly into leading so many initiatives….I never was one for multi-tasking 🙂

I applaud those who go full-throttle in many directions and make the world a better place for it. But some people need to hear that it’s okay to have more focus, more quiet, more single-minded devotion to one thing. This post is for those who make the world a better place at a quieter, slower pace. You don’t have to do it all.

I wish there was an award for saying “no” to one more good task that needs doing, but not by you. Being wholly committed to your one or two things – that takes guts and leadership and trust. That deserves an award. If you’re neglecting something you should commit to, try saying “yes.” But if your schedule is so full you can’t wholly commit to what you need to do, start saying “no.” Prioritize. What is really important? Make that happen.

And since we don’t necessarily get an award all the time, maybe award yourself this certificate 🙂 Here’s to being committed to being you, to growing into whoever you are made to be, whatever that looks like to you.

Award for Saying No

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