What in the world makes ME think I’m qualified to speak on this topic? What, I planned one booklaunch and a wedding reception(s) and suddenly I’m some event planning guru? Ha. No. Not at all.
But, as an introvert that can’t stand crowds and loved both of these events I put together, and as a bonus had an opportunity to stretch my creative muscles in a non-writerly way….I thought I’d share about that. For funsies and inspiration and solidarity if you’re trying to figure out making an event that you can more than just stomach but actually celebrate.
1. What do you want? What’s most important?
The more you can hone in on what’s most important to you (and other people involved where applicable. See: wedding reception), the easier to keep on track and not worry about the little things.
For me, at both events it was important that people felt comfortable coming & going, staying a long time or short time, popping in or out whenever. That means it was open house style. It was also important that kids felt as welcome there as grownups, both because kids are part of my life too and so that no one felt they had to miss because of childcare conflicts. For the wedding reception(s) that meant coloring tablecloths in the middle of the action with kids games there and off to the side if kids wanted to run around. (It also meant a little less formal of a setting.) For the wedding reception(s), it was important there was enough seating for everyone and enough space beside to mill about without feeling “stuck” in your seat because it’s a maze of tables to squeeze through. Lastly, there was something else important, which drives me to item 2….
2. What’s the low-pressure gathering point/non-threatening activity?
As an introvert, you get an invite to an event. Say hypothetically a “book launch party”. What in the world does that mean? What do I do there? What happens once I show up? What can I expect? What do I do with my hands? How long do I have to stay? Who do I talk to? What do I do? Most importantly…what do I do??? Hypothetically of course…
If you’re planning the event, the cool thing is, you can give yourself and your guests the answer to that question. They may wonder about some things, but give them something to grab onto. An “if nothing else I’ll….” thing.
For my book launch, it was at a coffee shop. That meant as soon as people saw the invite they knew if nothing else they would show up and buy a cup of coffee. They could sit and chat at a table or they could split. Low pressure.
For my wedding reception(s), there were tons of games. A board/card game at every table. Trivia at each table for those who wanted something a little lighter. Standing up games to the side (giant jenga, giant connect 4, bag toss). A giant table full of games for those who wanted to swap them out. Coloring tablecloths. The game aspect was mentioned on the website and FB page, and teaser photos were posted the day before so everyone got the idea what they’re getting into. “If nothing else I’ll play a game then head out.” Low pressure.
3. What are you already good at when hosting a hangout?
I learned this from A Practical Wedding by Meg Keene. (Note: I may receive a portion of funds from purchases made through this affiliate link).
When you have a couple friends or family to your house, what do you do? How do you host? Is it a dance party? A movie night? A house concert? A game night? Afternoon tea? Homecooked meal? Whatever you already do, that’s a good thing to scale up for your event. Whatever you don’t already do, that’s a good thing to get help with (whether paid help, family/friends, etc.). Generally the caution being biting off more than you can chew when you’re (probably) already doing one of the biggest things you’ve ever planned.
Going out for coffee or having a game night, those I got down. So that’s what I did for my events. If that’s not your thing, probably don’t do those things for your events. But think through what is your thing…then, make it bigger 🙂 This ensures you’re focusing on something in your wheelhouse to minimize unnecessary stress and issues, and it also means you’ll probably actually enjoy the thing and be putting on something for the guests that is still uniquely you.
4. Find your secret lifeline
If you’re a hardcore introvert trying to celebrate with (gulp!) people, find that secret something that’s all yours to keep you calm and joyful through the event. For the book launch party, it was that I had Lady Gaga at my event (okay, on the Tshirt I was wearing under my dress shirt but still…). Other times for me it’s a chai latte or The Scream socks (I may receive a portion of sales from this affiliate link).
For the wedding reception(s), me and hubby put together our own playlist of love songs, each and every one selected by one or both of us. It was six hours of songs that brought me either peace or joy (or both!) (with the exception of a few of hubby’s selection that aren’t my style, but right after those we’d be back to a great bop of “mine”). I listened to it for weeks leading up to the event, and while I didn’t memorize the order of 6 hours of songs, my subconscious did. It often knew what song was next, or at least where I generally was in the playlist and what was left before I could “introvert” again. That meant at any moment I was hearing songs that put me in a good mood, and as a bonus my subconscious had a bit of a built-in time check.
Those tricks are mine. I mean, I’m willing to share but they may not work for you. But chances are, you either already have a thing all your own that comes to mind. Or you’ll find one. I didn’t always have these and don’t always have the same ones….You can just pick one, whenever, wherever. Something that brings you joy or calm, that grounds you as you socialize in the big wide scary world of celebratory activities (and makes them not so scary after all).
In conclusion…
I don’t have everything figured out. Scroll through Pinterest for inspo and google to find expert tips and ask your friends. Find things that bring you joy and will connect with your guests in your own unique way. Most importantly, when the day comes, don’t stress it. Enjoy everything you’ve accomplished and breathe through the bumps chalking it up as memories to laugh about later.
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