Letter to my 8th Grade Self

My dear blogger friend Maggie posted a letter to her 8th-grade self. And I couldn’t help but join the fun!

Dearest Beloved Amy Sauder, who I’ve been —-

Breathe. I know your heart is racing from the crazy adventure that’s just begun from this breaking of the time-space continuum. I’m not sure what the consequences will be, but I only hope they make the world a little brighter a little longer. Don’t quit dreaming, about mermaids and pirates and faeries and dragons and gypsies. You’re gonna need that large imagination. There is something more. I know you wonder. Keep reaching for more. You can have it.

You’re in for alot of surprises. You’re going to lose alot. Your closest friends. Your church. Your hope. Your faith. You’ll be trampled on and you’ll trample on others. It won’t be pretty. In fact I wish I could take it all back and tell you exactly who to have grace on and who to run away from. But let me say this – your heart is big and your hope is big – I know you’re trying to figure it out. I see you.

You’re beautiful. I know you don’t know that, but one day you will. And I hope you learn that a little sooner. Don’t be so hard on yourself. Don’t shatter your beauty with the striving. You try so hard. It’s okay to rest. And there will be people you can open up to. People you’d never expect. In fact your best friends are the people you least suspect. I won’t even tell you who your best friend is now, because it’s the greatest surprise of all – but let me say, you know her now and are in for such an adventure together.

Keep writing. Keep playing school. You like both of those still and you’re actually pursuing them both as a career. Neither is what you think it is right now, but you’ll figure it out. And you’ll keep figuring it out.

If I could send you anything with this note, it’d be a fun hat. You need that right about now I think.

Want to know who you are now? You don’t have any pets (would you believe your mom does, though?!), but you have a mannequin. She’s quite fun, she’s your muse. You are still figuring yourself out, and that’s okay. You’re kinda old and still single and kinda okay with that. Weird, huh? Life has broken you. But you’re coming together again, piece by piece. You get through it…in all that you face in years to come, I want you to remember that you get through it. And the other side if beautiful. You’ll travel the world and you’ll travel your heart. You’ll trust too much and hope too much, and it’s so perfect I’m not going to take it away from you. Your tears are precious, you can let them out. You’ll find safe places. You’ll find safe arms. And best of all, you’ll find dangerous stories. Don’t be afraid.

—with love and hugs and wishes from Amy L Sauder, who you become