“In real discipleship, we memorize Scripture.”
The words swallowed the conversation. Biting words, fighting words.
Wanna know a secret? I was not the victim of this attack. I was the perpetrator. My best friend was the victim. I didn’t mean to hurt. I was still learning about process and about grace, but mostly I was still learning that I was so so wrong about goodness.
I hate who I was then. And am still learning to look at that girl with compassion. I think I hated her then too. Somehow subconsciously I thought true character was brought through shame. True character was shaming others into shaming others into shaming others until we all knew who was right and who was wrong. Finding some measurable outward standard where I “beat” others made it all okay.
Until it didn’t. Because life wasn’t okay like that, and only lots of mercy and grace could draw me back.
There isn’t some grand ending for this post, this is just to say that my last post wasn’t coming from a place of being better than the words others say. You can google cheesy inspirational quotes and stories of how encouragement changed someone’s life around. Those stories are everywhere. But I’m choosing to admit today that sometimes it’s not that beautiful, it’s not that pristine – sometimes words cut so deep as to change a person’s being. I’ve been dealt such words, and I’m sure I’ve given plenty too. That’s what sparked the idea for last week’s post. Because it’s not all just roses and hallmark cards – sometimes it’s sticks and stones.